I miss teaching. A lot. I am thankful for this time I have had home with my girls. If I hadn't lost my job, I wouldn't be able to spend this important time with them. But I miss having a job. I miss having a professional identity. I feel like I can't call myself a teacher, because I do not go into my classroom day after day like I did the past seven years. And it frustrates me, saddens me and quite honestly, pisses me off. I get sad when I poke around Target and see all the little things I would normally be snagging for my students. Things like little Halloween pencils, or mini Christmas stockings. I see a good idea for a craft project to do with my students, and have to mentally file it away, because it will not come to fruition any time soon.
I know I will not be unemployed forever. I know things happen for a reason, and it is very likely I will be back in the classroom next fall. But for right now, I can't help but feel a little bit sad about where I am in life. I want it all, the wonderful family and the job I love. I know I will have it soon, but to turn 30 without it has been a bit hard.
On a positive note, I had three and a half fabulous friends over today for brunch. A good friend was back for a few days from CA. She came over, as did my crippled friend Bee (check out her blog!), Baby Bee (hence the half) and we even convinced our workaholic friend Jess to take the day off to join us. It was great to be together for a few hours- I have definitely missed my girls' nights with them. We spent time eating, of course, oohing and aahing of the ridiculous cuteness that is Baby Bee and Thing1 and Thing2. It was a nice way to spend my birthday!
Thing1 and Thing2 with the Birthday Mama:
I had so much fun on your birthday! I started a blog about it but haven't gotten a chance to finish it yet. oops!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I totally understand what you mean about the lack of the professional identity.