Nummy Time!

My girls definitely take after me. They love to eat all kinds of things!

Like toys..

or each other's feet.

Of course our bottles are still our favorite things to eat..

Notice the blissed out look on her face. Ahh yes. The bottle. Of course we are starting to like other things now too.. Like sweet potatoes....

Errmm... Maybe not.

These are a few of my Favorite Things!

I had planned on this post for today, and after reading a friend's blog, thought it was definitely a good idea. See, a friend made a post about her fears of having her baby, who is due to arrive in January. She made a comment about how oftentimes we only post the negatives about mommyhood. I have been guilty of this from time to time, although I do try to be conscious of it. I think we do it for empathy, advice or to just vent. For me, it was all of the above. I had a very tough time with the girls the first few months. Not only was I a new mom, which is overwhelming for anyone, but I had TWO babies, both of which were very fussy and always wanted to be held. I was pretty miserable for the first couple months and add to that the fact that I had lost my job, things sucked. I felt like a failure in regards to my career, but also when I couldn't seem to stop the crying and screaming. But we managed to get through it all.

The question was also asked: is it really worth it? The answer, without a doubt, is yes. There were times at first I didn't think so. I was sleep deprived, frustrated, overwhelmed and pissed off (the job thing again). But now that we got through that initial difficult period, have figured thigns out, yes. It is so worth it. And I made a list of my favorite things about being a mommy to prove why:

1. Whenever I get Kayley from her crib, after nap or first thing in the morning, she always pops her head up and gives me a huge smile. It doesn't matter if she is soaking wet and full of poop, I always get my smile.

2. When Charlotte is hanging out in her bouncy and I am putting around getting a couple things done, if I so much as walk by her, she looks up, gives me a big smile and starts kicking her legs in excitement. How can I resist picking her up when she does that?

3. When one of the girls is fussy, 9 times out of 10, they stop as soon as I pick them up.

4. All I have to do is say hi to get a smile.

5. Eventually, the cute babbling that puts a smile on my face whenever I hear it, will turn into "Mommas and Dadas".

6. The babbling is so cute that when it starts in the car, I often turn down the radio just to listen.

7. Baby bums are the cutest and softest things ever. Whenever I am lotioning the girls up after tubtime, and one rolls over and sticks their little tushie in the air it always makes me laugh.

8. Hearing the babies breathe in my ear while I carry them is such a sweet little sound.

9. Seeing the girls look at one another and smile and laugh is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen.

and

10. When the babies light up when I walk in the room, it reminds me that I am the center of their world, and they are the center of mine.

There are so many more great things about being a mom, especially to multiples. I may get double the screams but I get double the snuggles, giggles, coos and smiles too.

Some days the sleepless nights, screaming babies and migraines are a distant memory. If I could go back in time and choose to do this all over again, I would always choose to have both my girls.

So yes, it is definitely worth it.

They Say It's Your Birthday..

Today was the day that many women dread. I turned the big 3-0. Though, I prefer to say I am 20-10. I knew it had to happen, I couldn't stay in my 20's forever. I don't think it would necessarily have bothered me either, if I was at the place in my life I thought I would be when I turned 30. I am almost there. I have the husband, the house (not the dream house, but that's okay), the kid(s!!), great friends, a cute car, family. But what I am missing is the career.


I miss teaching. A lot. I am thankful for this time I have had home with my girls. If I hadn't lost my job, I wouldn't be able to spend this important time with them. But I miss having a job. I miss having a professional identity. I feel like I can't call myself a teacher, because I do not go into my classroom day after day like I did the past seven years. And it frustrates me, saddens me and quite honestly, pisses me off. I get sad when I poke around Target and see all the little things I would normally be snagging for my students. Things like little Halloween pencils, or mini Christmas stockings. I see a good idea for a craft project to do with my students, and have to mentally file it away, because it will not come to fruition any time soon.


I know I will not be unemployed forever. I know things happen for a reason, and it is very likely I will be back in the classroom next fall. But for right now, I can't help but feel a little bit sad about where I am in life. I want it all, the wonderful family and the job I love. I know I will have it soon, but to turn 30 without it has been a bit hard.


On a positive note, I had three and a half fabulous friends over today for brunch. A good friend was back for a few days from CA. She came over, as did my crippled friend Bee (check out her blog!), Baby Bee (hence the half) and we even convinced our workaholic friend Jess to take the day off to join us. It was great to be together for a few hours- I have definitely missed my girls' nights with them. We spent time eating, of course, oohing and aahing of the ridiculous cuteness that is Baby Bee and Thing1 and Thing2. It was a nice way to spend my birthday!


Thing1 and Thing2 with the Birthday Mama:

It's been awhile

I have been slacking lately. I have no time to blog during the day (can you imagine why?) and by the time the muffinheads are off to lala land, I am so tired I have no desire to write about my day. However, I have received some blatant and some subtle demands from people to update. And since some have come from my good friend Beth, who is laid up with a broken ankle, I will submit.

Things have been going well in Twinkieville.** Both girls are rolling all over, "talking", laughing and generally being cute. They both drool like St. Bernard's, so I guess we have some teeth on their way. Neither one is sitting up yet, despite my desperate attempts to make them practice. They are both indifferent when it comes to their cereal, and I have yet to try any other foods with them. They just turned five months not long ago! It's crazy all the things that are starting to happen.

** I have been informed by my sister that I can no longer call the twins twinkies, because that is the nickname in "the city" (Boston) and probably elsewhere for young, freshly out of the closet gay men. Who knew?

They seem to be noticing one another more often. In fact, when ones cries the other will either stare, or smile and laugh.

They look like they are plotting something. I don't trust that Charlotte

We just had their very first Halloween! I am so excited for this time of year, we will have so many firsts. I had contemplated not dressing them up, but in the end I decided to.

They are getting so big. They can sit in a Bumbo without flopping over

but they are still not quite sure what to do when I put the toys on the tray.

In a few short weeks they will be 6 months old! I am not sure where the time went. It seems like just yesterday that I was seeing them only through ultrasound!

Decisions, Decisions..

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. After college, I taught at a childcare center. I first taught preschool and then my last year there, I taught Kindergarten. This gave me the experience to get my job teaching Kindergarten at the Villa. Then my third year at the Villa, I taught third grade, giving me some great experience for my resume. When I lost my job at the Villa, I was sad but I knew it was going to be okay. Lo and behold, I was offered the job I had last year (in a public school- my goal!), partly because of a glowing letter of reccomendation that a student's parent (a third grade student!) wrote for me, prompted by her sadness at me leaving the school.

It was like the stars aligned. I finally had my public school teaching job, we had been married over a year and owned our house just as long. I had wanted to get pregnant with my first child before I turned 30 (this November- eesh). So last September seemed like the perfect time.

I got pregnant immediately. Again, things just seemed to be working out. I was due mid-June, so I wouldn't have to miss much of my first school year. Then, I found out it was twins. That was a small snag in my plans, it meant I would have to leave earlier than planned. I figured it would be okay, though. I made it through the winter, until the very beginning of spring when I was hit with everything at once. I had mild pre-eclampsia, and needed to go on bedrest. Also, I was told I would not be returning to my school in the fall.

I was unhappy, to say the least. There were a few (buckets) of tears shed. I knew I had plenty of time to job hunt, but I couldn't do so while hugely pregnant. I knew that I would have no chance. So I chose to job hunt after the girls were born in May.

I managed to snag a few interviews, but obviously, never had an offer. So I started to question what the reason for this would be? Why was I given twins, only to have my job taken away, leaving us with only one salary for a family of four- and barely enough to care for them? Some people can do that. We can't. All summer I questioned why? Why was this happening to me, to my family? What did I do to deserve this? Why don't I get to finally have it all? The job, the family, etc. I was bitter and furious. My life motto, everything happens for a reason, seemed like crap. There was no reason for this, other than to make me miserable. I started to question whether I was really meant to be a teacher. Maybe I wasn't any good at it. Maybe it wasn't what I was meant to do in life. But then I would see a picture of an old student, or come across something we made in class (from the Villa, not the vile place I worked for last year) and remember that I AM a good teacher and it IS what I am meant to do, after being a mother and wife. But even though I knew I was a good teacher, I still questioned why this was happening to me.

I felt this way until just recently. I made a decision, and Brian agreed, to stay home one more month with the girls. We can swing it financially for a bit longer. Barely. But we can do it. So I am. I will start subbing when the girls are around 5 months old. This never would have been possible if I still had my old job. I would have gone back on the day the girls turned three months. That wasn't enough time for me.

So while I am not necessarily feeling blessed that I lost my job, I am trying to see the good in it. I will go sub for the year and next year I WILL be back in front of my own class. So I guess the reason for all of this is so I can spend more time with my girls. Any decision that puts them first has to be the right one.

Accomplishments

After my vent from yesterday (that Brian rolled his eyes at), I feel the need to write about the good things happening with the girls. Because I swear, even though the crying and screaming and fussing gets to me (and it should- I am with them 24/7 and therefore allowed to vent) there are many more happy times around here than not.

1. We seem to finally be making progress with this whole nap in crib thing. I hate it, but I have just been letting them cry in their cribs when they start to get tired. Usually they will drop off after just a couple of minutes of crying. It doesn't make me feel any better though. I hide in the living room with the TV on to drown out the cries. In the mornings Charlotte will sleep about 20-30 minutes and Kayley will go significantly longer. Yesterday afternoon, Kayley slept an hour and a half and Charlotte did two. So we seem to be getting somewhere.

2. Kayley has started to show more interest in toys. She will reach for the toys on the bar of her bouncy seat and has been successful a few times in grabbing and pulling the one that makes noise.

3. Charlotte is becoming a little chatterbug. She worries me, that one. She has been trouble since she was in the womb. She will babble and make noises and then at the drop of a hat, she will begin shrieking. She is going to be our little drama queen for sure. Kayley makes some noise but is not as "chatty" as Charlotte is.

4. Both the girls roll all the time. Kayley seems to like to do it more than Charlotte. She has become a belly sleeper now as well. During the day when they are on the blanket just hanging out she will roll over and pull her head up and just look at the world around her. Charlotte doesn't seem to be able to do this yet. Or maybe she is just not willing. :)

Side note: my living room looks like BRU threw up. Note all the baby crap in the background. That basket is also full of their things.

5. Finally, other than a little blip last nigth where Charlotte was at 3:30 (and woke her sister) they seem to be back to sleeping through the night. They go down around 7:30 and will wake between 6:30 and 7:00. Hopefully we are finally getting some kind of sleep schedule!

Not so bad.

Just a picture to show that they are not always horrid like people think. The crying does cease once in a while :)